kotbegemot inquired:

I have a physical next week which means I will be getting asked the "Do you have kids?" question. When I answer "No," the response is always either, "You can't have kids?" or "Why don't you have kids?" and I get irritated as fuck. I usually fire back with, "Do you ask your patients who have kids /why/ they had kids? No? Then why are you asking me why I don't have any?" It annoys me and I'd really like some suggestions as to how to answer that question without getting defensive.

Honestly, I love the response you are already giving. It’s a great slap of reality to their faces, which they clearly need if they’re asking such stupid and rude questions. But if you really want a less aggressive answer, here are some other ideas:

"I do not want children."

"I am not going to have children."

"I am childfree."

"I do not have to justify my reproductive choices to anyone, including my doctors."

Best of luck, and feel free to let me know how it went! I know this is never easy.

♥ 4 — 1 hour ago on 23 Apr 2014
Anonymous inquired:

Went to Six Flags yesterday with a group and babysat a friend's niece while there. She is adorable and was very well-behaved the whole time, but MY GOSH, she had so much energy! It wasn't the first I'd looked after her and I would gladly do so again, but her boundless energy reminds me of why I'm glad not to have kids. I could not handle such an energetic person everyday, no matter how well-behaved!

Yeah, I’m not sure I could handle that either! I’m really glad to hear she was well-behaved, because that experience could’ve gone wrong in so many ways if she wasn’t. It’s good that you can recognize what you can and can’t tolerate out of life. If you ever want to get your “child fix,” you at least have a well-behaved and adorable niece :)

1 hour ago on 23 Apr 2014
Bad Manners and Safety Hazards are Never Adorable

I was in the grocery store lobby (which is a bit at a slant) pushing a very full cart at pretty normal walking speed, when this 7-9 year old kid went darting out in front of me in a totally dangerous way to look at a cool toy. I sighed and said, “Really?” I also shook my head in exasperation and kept going (all of which I thought I’d done minimally enough for no one else to notice). The child didn’t hear me, but apparently their mother did. My boyfriend was with me, and once we were outside he told me that the child’s mom had been smiling at me as the child started to make a run for the toy, as if expecting me to smile with glee as well. When she saw my reaction, she looked very disappointed and shocked. My boyfriend and I thought this was ridiculous.

I am under no obligation to find any child cute, especially when they’re being an impolite safety hazard. Here’s a good rule of thumb for parents: if it would have been totally rude of you to do what your child just did, then it definitely was not anything “aw”-worthy out of a total stranger. And of course, here’s another area my parents actually parented me in. When I did shit like that in a grocery store, I got a VERY firm lecture and never did it again.

Get over yourself and your child. Strangers have lives, and I guarantee that a good percentage of the time you believe they’re admiring or watching your child in wait for a moment of cuteness, they’re really just paying attention to something else. And if you are expecting pleasantries from strangers about your child when your child does something out of line, then you seriously need to re-evaluate how healthy your perspective is. 

♥ 8 — 2 hours ago on 23 Apr 2014


I don’t get that at all…. I don’t find children “cute.” If a child is particularly beautiful, I admire them as one might a rose or a painting.

Or I admire their outfit… I like fashion, and I appreciate when parents dress their children with style. It would be fun to dress up a child like a doll, but that’s where my interest ends.

I don’t hate children, however. I believe their human rights should be respected, and I treat them kindly. It is important for children to feel that they matter. But I would never want one of my own. The thought makes me cringe.

I can relate to that a lot. I don’t find many kids particularly cute either, but there have been occasions where I’ve held a certain baby, or assisted a toddler during their play time, and found myself having some of the feelings described in this photoset. Then they do something extremely annoying, and the feeling goes away entirely! 

♥ 159367 — 9 hours ago on 22 Apr 2014 — via truthisdarklove (source)

On this Earth Day, I am reflecting on the beauty of the natural world around me, and I am proud of everything I do to protect it. I am also shaking my head at the Earth Day hypocrisy of the highly-educated and privileged parents on my newsfeed who knew EXACTLY the impact they were having on the globe when they didn’t consider adoption because they “just wanted a child of their own.” 

♥ 10 — 9 hours ago on 22 Apr 2014
♥ 159367 — 11 hours ago on 22 Apr 2014 — via s1ingmet0sleep (source)



Some women want to be house wives and some women want to be Harvard professors and some women want to be porn stars and some women want to be nuns and some women want to be surgeons and there is nothing wrong with anyone’s profession I am sick of people being rude to women about their professions oh my god

Peak liberal feminism. Not analyzing the society we live in that teaches girls to be one thing over the other at all. Our choices exist in a vacuum apparently.
♥ 188345 — 2 days ago on 21 Apr 2014 — via nawsome (source)
Anonymous inquired:

How would you define being sex and body positive? Just curious. :)

Not shaming, disrespecting, or looking down on anyone for their consensual and legal sexual activities that don’t harm other people emotionally or physically (unless the physical “harm” was consented and agreed to). Not shaming, disrespecting, or looking down on anyone for the condition of their bodies, because their body is their own business and you do not know how or why their body is the way it is. 

Being sex and body positive means respecting the bodily autonomy of others, and encouraging self-esteem and self-positivity in all people, regardless of what they look like. 

♥ 7 — 2 days ago on 21 Apr 2014
Important Reminder

Since it’s been a while, I would like to re-emphasize that this blog acknowledges systems of privilege, oppression, and discrimination throughout the world. Whenever the negative consequences of an active choice to reproduce are discussed here, they are only targeted at those who are privileged, middle-class or higher, participating in consensual reproduction, have access to birth control and abortion, proper knowledge on sexual reproduction, and its negative consequences for the current state of our planet and already living members of our species.

This blog will not shit on poor and otherwise underprivileged people with children. This blog recognizes the complexity of the positions they have been forced into. Furthermore, this blog understands that poor and underprivileged families with children are not the families with the activities that majorly contribute to the dangers of an overpopulated world.

This blog does not hate parents. Parents are extremely important and valuable to the world. Children need unconditional love, support, care, and meaningful guidance. This blog hates child-centric culture, stigma towards childfree, and parent martyr syndrome. This blog critiques and hates harmful or abusive parenting choices. This blog also encourages privileged people to consider adoption before reproduction.

This blog does not claim the diverse childfree group as a whole are “better” than the diverse parent group as a whole, and vice versa. Childfree and parenting lifestyles are both valid and necessary. There are problematic patterns and behaviors among both groups that need to be eliminated. 

For more clarity on my beliefs, you can always read my about.

♥ 15 — 2 days ago on 20 Apr 2014
Anonymous inquired:

Probably been asked already (a lot) but I'm not sure how to search it, so I'll ask away: How do you respond to being told that you'll change your mind? Especially if you're young.

Don’t worry, I’m to blame for not having an FAQ up yet (new blog goal). I know I’ve touched on this particular topic before, and any previously answered messages about it will be somewhere under the tab "my replies."

To answer your question, this one has worked for me every time: “If I said I want to be a parent one day, would you tell me I’ll change my mind someday?” Usually stuns them into silence.

If that doesn’t work or someone’s pressing the issue, feel free to assert yourself because they’re the ones being rude and out of line anyway. Saying anything along the lines of, “If you think people my age have the ability to know if they want to be a parent someday, then I have the ability to know I don’t want any children ever. Telling me I’ll change my mind is patronizing, invalidating, and totally irrelevant.” Then change the subject.

♥ 13 — 2 days ago on 20 Apr 2014